Quote of the day...

"There is a subtle difference between a mission and a promise. A mission is something you strive to accomplish--a promise is something you are compelled to keep. One is individual, the other is shared. When a mission and a promise are one and the same...that's when mountains are moved and races are won." ~Hala Moddelmog

I'm excited, my notice is put in, and I feel like the only thing standing in my way of being ready to leave for New Orleans is packing, and trying to fit all the friends in to my next 15 days of being here in Seattle. I feel ready to go. This week is jammed pack full of get together stuff. Friday night at the Little Red Hen, come dancing with me, I think that is the best way for me to get everyone in. Here is what my schedule looks like:

3-4: Small group 7-9, Red Hen for Michelle's B-day 9-whenever
3-5: A night for Me
3-6: Red Hen for my going away party 8:30-close
3-7: Cleaning room day for me...Clubbing 9-whenever
3-8: Coffee with friends (there are at least 3 of them)
Next week is more of me focused, I hope
Then I'm gone! So I need to get things together to mail down to NO, and off I run.

I almost wish I didn't have to say the goodbyes and could just leave, but that isn't going to be healthy for me...So the next two weeks, I'm running around shoot me an e-mail or call me and I'll see what I can't fit into my schedule.

Back at work...Time to quit

Wow, I never thought that the time would come where I got to go visit Jessie, then come back to work and face the roses of quitting.

I'll be honest, I was really tempted by Jessie's suggestion to just call my boss quit and stick around with her for another week or so, but stupid responsibilities got in the way!

My count-down has begun to New Orleans having only 16 more days! I'm excited, and now I'm nervous. I feel as though my vacation to visit Jessie (who worked with PDA last year) has prepared me a lot. I expected the vacation to allow me some down time, rest/relaxation, and give me the chance to pick Jessie's brain about the job I'm heading into. Little did I know that it was going to prepare me for saying goodbye as well. I had no idea it was going to be that difficult for me to say goodbye after only a few days, after all, I've said goodbye a hundred times as different chapters in my life have ended and I've moved onto bigger and better things, and none of them have hit me that hard. At least for me, that shows how good of a friend I have in her. But now I kind of realize what it is going to take to say goodbye to my friends and family out here. And it is going to be more difficult than just moving away for school. But I feel as though now I'm ready to say goodbye, and know that I will see everyone again soon!

Well, I better go put in my 2 week notice!

Vacation...

I'm having way too much fun and I don't want this weekend to end. I leave early on Monday morning, and I feel as though 5 days has definitely been not enough time!!!!

I've had an amazing time with Jessie already, and it goes deeper than just visiting a friend, I feel like I'm sitting with family that I should live with! And Molly, her dog, is amazing too. She is spoiled rotten thanks to me. But so worth it.

I feel safe and vulnerable at the same time...I can talk about anything here with Jessie, and I don't even begin to feel nervous about sharing ANYTHING! I haven't felt like this in a long long time.

It also helps that Jessie worked with PDA, and so I'm picking her brain on things I'll need to be prepared! More later when I've processed more.

Plane ticket purchased!

It is all official I have my plane ticket, I leave on Thurs. March 19th!

I'll be honest, I'm exhausted already from all the prep stuff I have to get done before I leave. I feel like I'm about to start my first day of Jr. High School. I'm excited beyond belief, but with me, that results in lack of sleep. I'm just wound up at the end of the night no matter how much stuff I got done that day. By the time my book finally calms me down and tuckers me out, which is usually 5-10pages in, I realize I've been reading for an hour or more. No amount of starbucks is keeping me awake at work. This will be my last week of starbucks. That way I get 2 weeks to kick the habit before I leave.

On Wed. I get to head out to visit my friend Jessie in De Kalb, IL! I'm so ready to visit her. I met Jessie when she was doing the job I'm about to do down in New Orleans last April. And we've kept in contact since. I think that the best part of this trip is that we are both on a budget and that ensures that it is going to be a relaxing weekend. The other best part is the conversations that are going to be had. Jessie and I are great at challenging each other to think about faith and God, and asking questions that might take a couple of days of contemplation to try and answer. I'm so excited about those conversations! I'm also excited to take a vacation for me. I've loved my other vacations don't get me wrong, taking a week to supervise Jr. High Missions, and go on Missions myself, but I'm finally listening to my body telling me to go relax for me.

One thing that I am realizing is that my daily routine is about to be shaken up. And that excites me and terrifies me at the same time. I love my daily routine. I'm an early person anyway, but it just hit me yesterday that early becomes even earlier in New Orleans. So my biggest prayer at this point is that I adjust well, and make sure to take care of myself in the process.

Freedom of Speech

Of late, I have been reading some of the Ken Shram articles on Komo's website, and I even signed up to be able to discuss his articles on the comments threads. I Love the fact that as an American I can participate in the discussion, and argue one way or the other. I also love the fact that some of the subjects get people so heated that stupid things come out. I love the fact that I feel educated enough and confident enough to add my opinion. And that I don't mind playing devil's advocate once in a while. But reading the comments really open my eyes to what the general public see as going on, or how other people jump on ban wagons because that is the way the majority is going. I am proud to say that I don't jump on ban wagons until I'm educated in the subject! But at the same time it can scare me how quickly people jump onto things they don't understand.

Knowing my neighbors

"Our prejudices arise from the fear of things we do not understand. If my generation has a single goal, it must be to promote education--education that advances us not only technologically, but also intuitively and emotionally. In today's fast-paced world, advancing has to mean more than scientific discovery; it is our responsibility to force ourselves beyond our comfort zones and become knowledgeable about the people around us." ~Jessica Arden Ettinger

This quote, found yesterday on my morning Venti Soy Chai at starbucks. It hit me in 2 different ways:
First, from the educations stand point. I think this woman really hit on the head why I just applied for Teach For America.
Secondly, the end of the quote when she says "it is our responsibility to force ourselves beyond our comfort zones and become knowledgeable about the people around us" hit me because I get to go do that! In one month, I get to head down, out of my comfort zone, and get to know my neighbors in New Orleans. And that excites me! I'm excited to leave, I'm nervous about fundraising, I'm sad to leave my friends and support groups out here. But I'm excited to get to know new people, and serve.

The Sinking in Gitters...

This weekend I frantically ran around like a chicken with its head cut off! My goal for the weekend was to finish my support letter and get them out. I finished them, I just need to stuff and send now. But I can't help but feel like I was just home on break from college. The feelings swimming around inside of me are similar to those I experienced after a summer home from the University of North Dakota, where I'm struggling to fit everyone in to my already busy schedule, trying to patch relationships that have stretched and torn a little, and trying to sew securely the relationships that I'm currently in. Those who know me well, know that I don't lose contact with anyone...even if its been more than 6months, I'll still shoot an e-mail or drop a phone call.

I'm 7 weeks out from my projected take off date. I have no new news from PDA, on whether all my paperwork went through smoothly or not, but I'm not worried about that, I'm worried that PDA isn't going to get back to me quickly. Here I am, after waiting 9 months to hear from them in the first place, after my initial application, and now that I've given them the thumbs up, I'm coming, I am scared that they are going to get back to me the first week of March, not in the next week or so. I haven't bought my plane ticket yet, I don't know which day they want me or what day someone can pick me up from the airport. I feel as though my fears are very much justified, but I can't help but doubt. A quote from Pastor Randy, "Doubt is the ants in the pants of faith." And it is true. With these feeling swirling around, I can't help but want to take control of the situation and make some executive decisions...but that isn't my place right now. I find myself avoiding home a little bit more to not have to answer any questions with "I don't know" and just to not have as much interruption to the things I'm trying to get done. I'm sure my parents feel like I'm starting to push them away, but I'm trying not to. There is just so much to get done and people to see, and things I want to do with my friends before I leave. And if I learned any lessons from the summers between college, there is always someone who gets left out.

I fear that I'm not going to get to see my friend who lives on the eastern side of the state because the passes won't be passable, and neither one of us will get across. I don't think it will inhibit our relationship at all, but it is a luxury that I would like to take advantage of. I can already feel a couple of friends pushing away to avoid the good bye. I think the hardest part, is I feel as though I'm not just called to New Orleans for the three months, I really feel called on a longer basis, what that calling means, I don't know, that is a bridge I will cross when it is build sturdy and strong, and I've stumbled upon it.

So I guess I'm using this as my apology for those who get missed in the craziness of preparing to leave. I will do my best, but I'm to the point of prioritizing, and I hate to do it, but know that where ever I am living throughout the world, I always have an open door policy for friends.